I have become more than a little lax in recent years about attending all of the rituals of the Easter holy days. This is particularly true if they happen to conflict, as Holy Thursday foot washing services often do, with spring break activities that I consider, in my increasingly rag-tag belief system, to also be … Continue reading Holey Thursday
Relationships
Ordinary Time
It turned out to be at its coming in and not at its leaving when March was actually the lamb; it left us yesterday with the lion, and lions, it turns out, can kill you. Even the warning of the soothsayer to "Beware the ides of March" seems more foreboding when you think about what … Continue reading Ordinary Time
How Do I Quarantine With Thee?
How do I quarantine with thee? Let me count the ways.I quarantine with thee in the depth and breadth and height of this house,The square footage of which is not nearly enoughFor feeling out of (your) sight when you need somethingThough you are consistently unable to see that I am on the phone.For the ends … Continue reading How Do I Quarantine With Thee?
Quarantine, Day 5
Trying a schedule today, using information from Days 1-4 8:15 AM Drag self from bed, in shirt worn yesterday + pajama pants 8:20-11:00 AM Drink coffee and scroll Facebook mindlessly. Consider extensive cleaning and knitting projects that could be completed during this time, as well as individual sports that could be mastered and languages that … Continue reading Quarantine, Day 5
Siren song
The photo is from 1992. But I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since yesterday morning, since I heard the news of the tornado. I knew exactly what I was looking for when I started in on the faux-leather-library bindings of the photo albums to look for the photo, though not which yellow-paged … Continue reading Siren song
Longing for the light
I wrote this last year, when Christmas shopping was still a thing and teachers taught at schools. So much has changed. I couldn't have known then--none of us could--how much more true and real the distances and longings and general not-ok-ness would be this year. But the story itself has always been about exactly that. … Continue reading Longing for the light
Field notes from the Empty Nest, vol. 1
Nearly all of my birds took off at the same time this summer, which is I guess how it generally goes for the actual mother birds, though they are underrepresented on the mommy blogs, having so rarely written about it. This is a damn shame. It would have helped to have read on Facebook that … Continue reading Field notes from the Empty Nest, vol. 1
Lucky 13
Thirteen years ago this time of year, I was spending much of my days bawling while bald, begging and bargaining with God for my life and to see my kids grow up. To get my youngest, who was five at the time, to adulthood, or at least to an age where she would for sure … Continue reading Lucky 13
The girl and her mom at graduation
It was both an honor and a pleasure to speak to the graduates and their moms at the Notre Dame Prep Mother-Daughter brunch this morning! Girls - and moms - it's true: "you're gonna be great!" Well, here we are, ladies. It is so good to be with all of you, graduates and moms, in … Continue reading The girl and her mom at graduation
Never Get a Dog: A Lifetime of Reasons Why
It starts with the puppies, and the puppies are cute, I will give you that. But they take all of your time, and you have to take over as, of all things, the mom: feeding them, loving them, teaching them how to do everything. I say this even thought I know that your puppy may, in … Continue reading Never Get a Dog: A Lifetime of Reasons Why
Holy Saturdays
It's Holy Saturday today, a day when nothing happened. It gets lost amid all the flashier days of Holy Week but it is the part that I relate to the most. Palm Sunday looked like so much fun, didn't it? All pomp and circumstance, and weren't they lucky to have such perfect weather? The Facebook … Continue reading Holy Saturdays
Mothershucker
It was an impossibly springlike February day when I found myself walking the beach, and then found her. Both beauty and new friends often come to us this way I think: in unlikely circumstances, unexpected. When we are thinking about other things, and totally not looking. She might be an oyster shell; I really don't … Continue reading Mothershucker
Not ok….and yet
There are so many things not ok in our world today, this day, Christmas Eve. There are big, public things that just about everyone knows, things that so many of us are just worried sick about. There are small, private things too, things in our family that are not ok. Things that hardly anyone and … Continue reading Not ok….and yet
A Tribe of Boy Moms
It was such an honor to speak to the Loyola Mothers' Club at the Harvest Pot Luck Dinner last night. For all who so generously opened their hearts to my words and asked if they could have them online, here they are, with my humble thanks. And, as always, Go Dons, Go Musketeers, and Go … Continue reading A Tribe of Boy Moms
Holding hands
My dad was not good at all things, but he had been born good at the things I most wanted to be good at, which were horses and music and art. It was uncanny, everyone said while I was growing up, how much I looked like my dad. And because I did not yet understand the … Continue reading Holding hands
Coffee/grounds/for divorce
It – that is to say, the Evidence - didn’t look suspicious or out of place when I first saw it. Because I thought that everything was fine, that we were fine, I saw only a take-out coffee in a paper cup sitting on my kitchen island. I didn’t see betrayal. I – naively, I realize now - just figured it had belonged to me.
The last words: 52/52
A flat brown package arrived at my door the other day. I had no idea what it could be. I hadn't ordered anything. It must be a birthday present, I thought, and I brightened, wondering gleefully what it might be and who might have sent it. A thing about getting older that is both terrific … Continue reading The last words: 52/52
Road to the White Blouse
"Hang on!" I yell from upstairs, even though my family is ready to leave, and in the car, which is packed for the airport and behind schedule. "I just have to change my shirt real quick." Even my daughters, who are more astute than their father and brothers in these matters, will detect no appreciable … Continue reading Road to the White Blouse
Mary
It doesn't feel like spring to most of us this year, but the calendar, stubborn and rigid as it is, insists that it is upon us, that we are nearly to May. And if you were ever a little girl in Catholic school, May was also a month in which you might have hoped to … Continue reading Mary
Holy Saturdays
It's Holy Saturday today, a day when nothing happened. It gets lost amid all the flashier days of Holy Week but it is the part that I relate to the most. Palm Sunday looked like so much fun, didn't it? All pomp and circumstance, and weren't they lucky to have such perfect weather? The Facebook … Continue reading Holy Saturdays
Spring snow (or, My life as a Hygge-not)
It is the second day of spring, a season for which, year after year, I fall hard and fast in love. But the only thing falling hard and fast today is the snow. Even the 10-day forecast looks dismal, in spite of the cheery delivery of the pregnant meteorologist who somehow still looks gorgeous on TV. Bitterly, I … Continue reading Spring snow (or, My life as a Hygge-not)
Fragile
I was planning to take this on, as they say, "in my next life". But I have realized that this plan, necessitated as it is by the demise of this life—which I am otherwise really enjoying and pretty deeply investing in continuing—is not as foolproof as I would like. Even in a best case scenario, … Continue reading Fragile
On the occasion of his 80th birthday
Last year on this day, at the very beginning of 2017, I linked this blog post to my Facebook page, "outing" myself as a blogger, and as a wannabe writer. I cannot tell you how terrifying this was. My hands shook. My heart raced. I felt like I was going to throw up. It still … Continue reading On the occasion of his 80th birthday
Stories and small things
Some of the stories will really get to you. They'll get to you through your television if the stories are interesting, or surprising in some way, and especially if the murder victims are wealthy or white. If there is someone there to notice, to mourn, to tell the TV people the stories of how the … Continue reading Stories and small things
Taking stock
When the first chill comes—even when it is long overdue, when we have been on delightful late-summer borrowed time for weeks, when we know we cannot in good conscience complain—even then, when it comes, some of us get a little weird. It doesn't help that Daylight Savings Time is a bandit, stealing our beloved afternoons, … Continue reading Taking stock
23, on the way to 52
My daughter turned 23 this week, and so did my #52for52 project. Significantly more time was spent planning and executing a celebration of the first event, which, predictably, resulted in a mild neglect of the second. But you know how much I like numbers, and coincidences, so you will not be surprised to hear that … Continue reading 23, on the way to 52
“We belong”
I can name that tune in two notes. It doesn't take any notes, really; just those two words will work just fine to cue the Pat Benatar song in my head. I wanted to put the next word in the title, too, which is of course together, but it turns out that you can only … Continue reading “We belong”
MEMO: System alert
Now that you know that I am (ahem) "bad with transitions", it should come as no surprise to you, here in the second week of August, that systems are breaking down. To: All Users From: Mom Re: Technical issues We are aware that some of our non-essential systems that are currently down, and that users … Continue reading MEMO: System alert
Coming home
It is the last day of vacation. "I'm bad with transitions," I announce to my family. As if that is actually a thing. I say it confidently, hoping that they will think I am speaking with the diagnostic authority of an old nurse, which they know better than to question. I hope it will sound … Continue reading Coming home
Of Moms and Men
Our tribe once had a name: we were the Boy Moms. We were the ones who stepped on Legos in bare feet in the middle of the night and yelled at our sons to please stop jumping off of the back of the couch. We demanded that they not hit each other with light sabers … Continue reading Of Moms and Men
Out of the box
I took the huge cardboard box down from the attic. It was the first time in decades that I'd really looked at it, even though we'd moved it several times, even though I had always known exactly where it was: behind the Halloween costumes, next to the sole surviving box of craft supplies. The box was covered … Continue reading Out of the box
Ants on a blog
I had left my day job, and was looking forward to a summer schedule, but I also knew that writers need structure, and that I very much need structure, or nothing gets done. I was looking for a way around that, when I thought of the #52for52 thing. I love writing so much when I'm … Continue reading Ants on a blog
Found
I watched in stunned disbelief as my friend's face started to change, to screw up into a shape in which I had never, in all the years I have known her, seen it before. Hers is an exceptionally expressive and lovely face, but this was so unfamiliar that I didn't know what was happening at … Continue reading Found
I’m the one in the crown
I am 52 today. After cancer, your never take a single birthday for granted. You ask yourself how you got so lucky to have another one. Sometimes you still wonder how many more there will be. You learn not to mention this part to your friends and family, though, because it comes off vaguely morose, … Continue reading I’m the one in the crown
Light in the house
It was early one morning, and the light was beginning to stream in the upstairs windows at my mom's house, when I was awakened by a knock at the door. I peeked out the window to check for a car in the circular driveway. There wasn't one. That wasn't good. Our house wasn't in a … Continue reading Light in the house
And on Saturday, nothing happened
"The waiting is the hardest part." - Tom Petty "Seriously, if you love me at all, just put me in a drug-induced coma and wake me when it's over." - Me It's Holy Saturday, otherwise known as The Day When Nothing Happened. It gets lost amid all the flashier days of Holy Week but it … Continue reading And on Saturday, nothing happened
Comfort food
This is not a true story. This is a totally made up story which, if you do not know, is called fiction, so if you think that you might recognize the characters in my made up story, you must be mistaken. As a Real Writer, I have easily conjured the people in the story; it … Continue reading Comfort food
Riding the Struggle Bus
In first grade, I took the public bus to school. The hometown of my youth, today a tony and sprawling suburb of Baltimore and D.C., was just a slice of Americana then, a small boating town where everyone knew everyone. Like most of the moms in our neighborhood, my mom had the car once a week, just one … Continue reading Riding the Struggle Bus
Crafting a troubled past
I was young; I didn't know any better, I thought to myself, as I tried to make sense of all the boxes. They were stacked one upon the other in the attic, large plastic bins with lids, smelling vaguely of oil paint. Masking tape labels from days gone by belied their contents: "Maternity clothes", "Snow … Continue reading Crafting a troubled past
On the occasion of his 80th birthday
Today is my father's 80th birthday. This is inconceivable to me, as it is to many of us who are finding that our fathers' ages have become numbers which sound inappropriately like the last few lessons of our times tables, and generally associated more with the elderly and infirmed than with our lifelong protectors. Wait - we … Continue reading On the occasion of his 80th birthday
More than enough
Sisters, many of us are all running around like crazy people today. It is very nearly Christmas and it is always, always the sisters who are making the world go around this time of year. I have one word I'm trying to keep in my head today - maybe you have problems with it, too? … Continue reading More than enough
Whose holiday is it, anyway?
I have been up since 4:40 am. I have been awake because although I have had the holiday cards stacked on the bookshelf since December 7, I cannot get the address labels to print and I have not had time to hand-write them. I left a gift for my niece Greta in my Amazon shopping … Continue reading Whose holiday is it, anyway?
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