Now that you know that I am (ahem) “bad with transitions”, it should come as no surprise to you, here in the second week of August, that systems are breaking down.

To: All Users
From: Mom
Re: Technical issues

We are aware that some of our non-essential systems that are currently down, and that users may notice glitches in some of our processes.

We want to assure everyone that we are working on the problems, and there is no need for alarm. If this were an actual emergency, this would be followed by official information, news, and instruction. We appreciate your patience.

System bugs may include the following:

Users may have noticed that only the most basic of housework, cooking, laundry, errands, and ADLs are being completed at this time, as we conserve bandwith for necessary tasks. Our team is working to have this resolved soon, but since there is so little of summer left, and so much lounging yet to do, it may be after Labor Day before these kinks are worked out.

Users may also notice. as Mom helps the grown up kids choose and get settled in their new, grown up apartments, that her feelings may swing unpredictably from elated and relieved and proud to unsettled, anxious, and positively bereft that we have found ourselves here in this brave and unfamiliar new world in which the chicks have their very own nests. In the interest of transparency with our valued users, we want to share with you that it will take some time to work these kinks out. These are not easy fixes, and the work to complete these system shut downs and transfer to the new system will be considerable. We expect that there will be continued glitches along the way. (We hope that there will also be wine.) Again, we thank you for your understanding and patience as we tackle these difficult but necessary processes.

Because of the later start to the school year this year, and in light of the above challenges, the team has not yet begun to even consider any of the tasks necessary so that the high school junior will be able to begin the year as planned. This includes necessary and time-consuming processes like buying books, picking up the blazer from the tailor, and getting a physical. We realize that most of our competitors have completed these processes on time, and to the undoubted benefit of their children, and we do hope to begin this process in the coming weeks. Users can anticipate that there will be rush processes as the date nears. There may also be tears when the reality of these unfortunate delays settle in with our technical team. With this in mind, we ask that you email the team with pressing concerns only.

Finally, users may notice that Mom has, unfortunately, regained the weight she lost at the beginning of the summer. Whatever. We do not yet have a solution for this glitch. We might, or might not, keep you informed. It is probably due to the lounging, and the wine. We recommend that you maybe just don’t mention it.

Thank you for your continued understanding.

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