It’s October again. I know this not from the calendar, or the pumpkins. I had not yet noticed the leaves beginning change, or the days ending earlier. But I know with certainty that it is October because I am a breast cancer survivor, and everywhere I look, everything, it seems, is pink. October, as just … Continue reading A new stage in breast cancer awareness

I've been busy working on, and was honored to deliver, this talk at the Johns Hopkins Survivorship CME today. I had the auspicious task of starting off the day by addressing the "patient experience" of survivorship and, like all of their speakers today, I only had 15 minutes!  In the early days of my survivorship, … Continue reading The power of story in survivorship

World Cancer Day and today's Daily Prompt: Recognize have me thinking about beginning to recognize yourself after cancer, and about recognizing cancer survivors everywhere. This is a post from 2012 which was called the Back Story. In 2006, I had a busy life: four kids aged 15 to 4, one funny husband, an enormous dog, an old … Continue reading Recognition

There's no getting around it now. I'm completely out of time. I weigh the same as when the year began; I have lost zero pounds. In not-unrelated news, I have also not gone to the gym more often. I have not read more books than the year before, and I have only started to write … Continue reading Eleventh hour, 2016

More than two years ago, I vanished from here. It's been that long since I've written anything on this breast cancer blog, and I've had a hard time figuring out how to start again. It feels kind of like returning to the gym after a hiatus; it is so much harder than starting from scratch. I think it is because we bring along the memories … Continue reading Write, back.

My friend is in the early days of survivorship. As with so many difficult tasks we women have faced— things like labor, for instance, and plane trips with toddlers, and cancer—you think you will always remember how hard every part was. You are certain you will never forget the details, and the difficulty. But when … Continue reading Picking up the pieces

“We must see all scars as beauty. Okay? This will be our secret. Because take it from me, a scar does not form on the dying. A scar means, 'I survived'.”  -Chris Cleave, Little Bee Beth Whaanga knows who her friends are. She'd had breast cancer, so I bet she kind of knew that before … Continue reading Scars as beauty

"Joy is the most vulnerable emotion we experience." - Brene Brown We called it “Irish fatalism” in my family, and I always thought that it was a gift and a curse, unique to my clan and elevated to an art form by each generation, kind of like the flying Wallendas and their high wire act. … Continue reading Joy for the moment

This week in Washington, the anniversary of Martin Luther King’s historic speech is being celebrated. Despite the half-century that has passed, and my being a white girl from the suburbs who had not even been born when the speech was given, I continue to be inspired by Dr. King’s words. He spoke of struggle, and … Continue reading Dream with me

I was sitting in the car in the Target parking lot. It was springtime, and in addition to the usual business of running a household of six, I had a graduation and a religious celebration coming up: there was a lot to do, and I had a long list. We have talked about the magic of Target … Continue reading Courage and the car

It is cancer. I thought I remembered what it felt like to hear those words, and what those first, awful days after a cancer diagnosis are like. Like all cancer survivors, I remember some of the specifics in excruciating detail: the date and time of day, the spot in the kitchen where I picked up … Continue reading Three little words

I was on my way back from a most unexpected trip to Planet Breast Cancer and, since running is not my favorite thing, I needed to develop a playlist to keep me moving in the exercise portion of my treatment. Scientists have now officially discovered what we all already knew:  that music has an amazing ability to “take you … Continue reading Soundtrack

Running is not my favorite thing. Even as a kid, it was clear that neither my size nor my innate athletic ability were on my side. Naturally able in things literary and musical, I identified myself as a “non-athlete”, which was, I realize now, a convenient label but a big mistake. It was true that … Continue reading Running is not my favorite thing

I only got one detention in school. It was in the seventh grade, and I had already been warned, mind you, for the last time, that further note-passing between my friend and me would result in a detention. But I had something important to say, something that could not wait, and I could not resist … Continue reading No words

“Here. Do you see? These dots here; they look like stars.” The radiologist is kind, speaking to me slowly as she points out the constellation on the backlit mammogram. They are in my right breast, she explains, these celestial beings that are often sentinels of cancer before is a lump. If I look very carefully, … Continue reading Celestial voyage

“Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.” ~Mother Theresa I am old enough to know, now, that really wise people admit from the get-go that they cannot possibly know what a New Year holds. I find this realization a little scary, but my continued efforts … Continue reading Small things

“I could not stop talking because now that I had started my story, it wanted to be finished. We cannot choose where to start and stop. Our stories are the tellers of us. ” ~Chris Cleave, Little Bee I guess it is the time of year, rich with tales of journey and mystery in practically … Continue reading Tell me a story. Yours.

I could feel the collective dread starting even before the data were released yesterday at the San Antonio Breast Cancer Symposium. The breaking news involved tamoxifen, both savior and nemesis for many women whose breast cancer is—or was—sensitive to estrogen. It has long been known that, taken for five years, tamoxifen does a great job … Continue reading ATLAS, shrug

My ex has been in the news this week, showing up in journal articles and editorials. My ex is named Statistics, and our on-again, off-again relationship is still a little raw. We used to be together, and we sometimes still see each other socially and professionally. In Facebook parlance, “It’s complicated.” We met at my … Continue reading It's Complicated

In 2006, I had a busy life: four kids aged 15 to 4, one funny husband, an enormous dog, an old house to fix up, and a really good attitude about turning forty.  I was confident that this would be the decade in which I would finally mellow, be more laid back, let things go, … Continue reading The Back Story